


defining the relationship

by dottie_wan_kenobi



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Confused Aziraphale (Good Omens), Definitions, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, No Spoilers, POV Aziraphale (Good Omens), Pining Aziraphale (Good Omens), Timeline What Timeline, Unconventional Format, hints of pining Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 14:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19770304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottie_wan_kenobi/pseuds/dottie_wan_kenobi
Summary: There’s no one word to describe what they are to each other.





	defining the relationship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redundantoxymorons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redundantoxymorons/gifts).



> I told myself I wouldn't watch the show. I told myself I wouldn't write a fic for it. I told Izzie, my wonderful friend and beta, that I WOULDN'T. and yet, here we are.
> 
> idk timelines and idk spoilers. won't find any of that here.

There’s no one word to describe what they are to each other.

And it’s– it’s _frustrating_ , but Aziraphale is hesitant to even think such a thing, because if God had wanted there to be a word for them, She would have made it. But She didn’t. So he’s stuck– he’s _allowed_ the _privilege_ of choosing from what words there _are_.

One could say that Crowley is his best friend. This would certainly be true, but Aziraphale has read many, many, many stories. Friendships are like that of Victor Frankenstein and Henry Clerval, or Horatio and Hamlet, or Elizabeth Bennett and Charlotte Lucas, or Frog and Toad. Well, maybe not that last one. 

But his point is this: those? Those are _friendships_. According to Merriam-Webster, “The state of being friends”. Friend meaning, of course, “One attached to another by affection or esteem” or “One that is not hostile, one that is of the same nation, party, or group” or “One that favors or promotes something (such as a charity)” or “A favored companion”.

Companion doesn’t quite work, either. One definition is “One that is closely connected with something similar”, which, yes, is very true of himself and Crowley, and yet… There are other definitions too, such as “A celestial body that appears close to another but that may or may not be associated with it in space”. Do he and Crowley fall under that umbrella? 

It’s also true that he and Crowley are partners– they’ve worked together many a time, even when the goal of that working together was to purposefully make things difficult for God and Satan. (Though, he has to wonder, are his small acts of rebellion part of God’s Plan? How is it that the all-knowing doesn’t seem to know about his… dalliance with the demon?)

(Dalliance: “A casual romantic or sexual relationship.”)

(On second thought, perhaps not.)

(One would think, a voice that sounds much like Crowley’s ponders with something of a condescending hiss, that She would have made a world as all-encompassing as She is Herself.)

But they are not partners in the way the dictionaries like to say. They’ve never danced together, nor have they begun a business together. Yes, they have _partnered_ with one another, but that’s just according to one definition. What about “A person with whom one shares an intimate relationship;”—it goes on—“One member of a couple”?

(Intimate: “Marked by a warm friendship developing through long association”. Well, yes. “Suggesting informal warmth or privacy.” Much of their… relationship is informal and private, yes. “Engaged in, involving, or marked by sex or sexual relations.” Good Heavens.)

(Couple: “Two persons married, engaged, or otherwise romantically paired.” Angels and Demons simply do not get married. “Two persons paired together.” In all likelihood, no one Above or Below would ever pair him with Crowley.)

(Pair: “Two similar or associated things: such as  
(1) : two mated animals  
(2) : a couple in love, engaged, or married.”)

(Relationship: “The relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: such as a specific instance or type of kinship; a romantic or passionate attachment.”)

(Kinship: “The quality or state of being kin.” Yes, but what is kin, anyways?)

(Kin: “A group of persons of common ancestry.” Kindred: “Of a similar nature or character.”)

Aziraphale remembers very well that Crowley was an Angel once. But they are celestial beings with no real DNA, and he is hesitant to find similarities in their personalities, so kinship (and kin, and kindred) don’t seem to do either. 

(Mated, verb of Mate: “One of a pair: such as  
a : either member of a couple and especially a married couple  
b : either member of a breeding pair of animals  
c : either of two matched objects.”)

(Love: “Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.” Yes. “Affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.” Yes. “Attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers.” Hmm. Perhaps not.)

(Affection: “A feeling of liking and caring for someone or something; tender attachment; fondness.” Certainly.)

(Tenderness: “Marked by, responding to, or expressing the softer emotions.” He’s an Angel, for Pete’s sake! He feels the “softer emotions” when he looks at a particularly contented duck. He’s _made of love_ , after all. )

(Lovers: “Two persons in love with each other” or “An affectionate or benevolent friend.”)

He must remind himself not to get frustrated. There must be a reason She did not make a word precise enough to describe his oldest friend, the being who makes him smile and always brings some fun, though they’ve had their share of fraught moments. There must be a reason he feels these things, realizes that neither Friend nor Companion nor Partner nor Lover nor any other synonym he can find will ever fit.

Because he is most assuredly not frustrated, he closes the dictionary calmly and puts it back where it belongs with care. Once it’s straight and even on his desk, he allows himself a smile. There.

A customer comes in, and Aziraphale helps them, consciously making sure his thoughts stay away from his oldest friend (companion, partner, lover…).

* * *

They don't see each other all that often, truly they don't. But barely a few months pass and he's still thinking about it when Crowley enters his bookshop.

Saunters is, perhaps, the better word. It's night, past when the shop closes—the door is always open for Crowley, however—and he's wearing clothes indicative of a night out. Fishnets and a sparkly dress, hair curling under his ears.

Aziraphale swallows, standing a little straighter. "Hello, old friend," he tries. The words taste wrong, but they make Crowley smile, and, well, that's good enough for now.

Later, when they're both a little drunk and Crowley is loudly singing a folk song that's thousands of years old, he ponders something. 

(Soulmate: "A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.")

Oh my.

"Crowley," he asks, not slurring because that would be unbecoming of an angel. "Do you believe in soulmates?"

Crowley stops singing abruptly, looking over at him over the rim of his glasses. For a moment, they simply stare at each other, and Aziraphale feels a little warm in his chest.

"Soulmates are for the pagans," he says eventually, as smooth as ever. "But…."

"Yes?"

"I suppose it's possible. Why do you ask? Think you've found yours?"

Aziraphale flushes at the teasing smile. But still, he says, "No," because soulmate just doesn't feel quite right either.

The teasing note in Crowley's smile softens until it's real, and then he starts belting out another Queen song.

* * *

It takes him longer than he likes to ask Crowley what he thinks.

Everything in him tells him there’s no reason to ask Crowley, because Crowley is a _Demon_ and _Demons’_ opinions are unimportant and wrong, but– but Crowley is much more than just that. And anyway, Aziraphale would like to think he’s above such petty– or rather, that he’s different from the other Angels.

(Snob: “One who blatantly imitates, fawningly admires, or vulgarly seeks association with those regarded as social superiors  
a : one who tends to rebuff, avoid, or ignore those regarded as inferior  
b : one who has an offensive air of superiority in matters of knowledge or taste.”)

He waits until they’re both conveniently sitting at the same bus stop to broach the subject. 

“Crowley?”

The other being’s head turns, eyebrows quirking up as he smiles. “What is it?”

“You see, I’ve been thinking about something for a little while, and I believe your input might well be invaluable in helping me put my finger on it.”

“Well, go on with it.”

He looks down, at the hands She gave him. Then he looks at Crowley, because Angels are unafraid, and even if he were afraid, this is Crowley. Even when they act as they should—enemies on an existential basis—they trust each other. He won’t be hurt, just as surely as he won’t hurt back.

“What are we?”

Crowley freezes. “Angel, I would think you’d know by now that you’re just that, an angel, and I am a demon.”

Not frustrated—okay, maybe a little bit—Aziraphale shakes his head. “No, you misunderstand. I mean… our _relationship_.”

(Relationship: “The relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: such as a specific instance or type of kinship; a romantic or passionate attachment.”)

Crowley says nothing, but Aziraphale is well aware of the tension in his shoulders, the way he’s still smiling but it’s his fake smile, and the way he feels, well, a little less spooky than usual.

“You see, I’ve gone through many words, and none of them feel right. We are friends, but we’re more than that, aren’t we? And we’re companions, but not truly. Yes, we’re partners, and I suppose we could be called ‘mates’ though you said it yourself, soulmates are for the pagans, so–”

Crowley cuts him off, turning to face Aziraphale, his glasses suddenly tipped down. One of his hands comes out and takes Aziraphale’s. “Why does it matter, angel? We are what we are, whatever that is. All we have to be is _us_.”

He stares into Crowley’s eyes, takes in the wondrous feeling of his hand being held in that of the oldest, most important person in his life. Other than Her, perhaps. He sees and feels the kind of love only an Angel can truly feel, all from Crowley.

Smiling and chuckling a little breathily, he thinks about another word he knows, one he hadn’t allowed himself to ponder before. “I don’t suppose,” he says, “that you’d like _us_ to be _husbands_?”

**Author's Note:**

> (Husband: a friend, companion, partner, lover, soulmate, and much much more.)
> 
> let me know what you think!! <3  
> find me on [tumblr](https://dottie-wan-kenobi.tumblr.com)


End file.
